Customer Service

When did the art of customer service die? Yesterday we went to Walmart* to do a little grocery shopping and pick up a few miscellaneous household items. M, being 6, wanted to wear his new Transformer costume. Busy, being the coolest mom ever, let him. After the boys were saints the whole trip, I managed to pick the S L O W E S T cashier ever. I am not exaggerating, embellishing, or over stating this at all. it took her 20 minutes to check us out...a high estimate would be 50 items in our cart (24 seconds per item for those that care). She painstakingly bagged things as not to crush them... stared at the belt for her next target...and repeated. The she had the nerve, the NERVE, to rudely ask if Busy had taken the tags off the costume. Busy, every so nicely said no- I bought that at Target** a week ago. Cece*** then GLARED at Busy, then M, then Busy...and muttered something about stealing. By this point the boys were hungry...so being, as aforementioned, an awesome mom, Busy gave them some crackers that had already been scanned- more GLARES from Cece (note- she was still scanning items during the costume and cracker incidents). Finally she finished...Busy started for the car while I paid. I had put my card away- having swiped it 20+ minutes ago. She glared again, and added- keep your card OUT! I smiled, and took it back out of my wallet. She then lectured me on the fact that my signature was wearing off. I offered her my drivers license... with a reply of, There is no NEED sir. Like I was the rude person here. Blah- find some charm...or don't work in public.

*Walmart now claims- "Pay Less Live Better" This does not apply to in store life.
**We really love Target- free advertising plug!!
***Cece's name WAS NOT changed to protect the innocent. She was no such thing.

Last Medical Post for Awhile

Why is it impossible to get ahold of your own medical records? I have records at 6 clinics...given what is going on it is essential that I get them. One clinic wants to charge me 1 dollar per page. Another said it may take 20 business days becuase they are 'off site'. Most act like it is a HUGE favor that they'd consider letting this leave their office... I mean after all it is only a matter of life and death and how dare I ask a file clerk somewhere to risk a papercut for me?!? I'm as lazy as the next person... nah- more lazy, but even I would take notice if a cancer patient called and asked for their records becuase further treatment was needed. The one that really got me though was the one that argued with me that I was giving her an incorrect phone number. Uh- no Phoenix IS 602... not everyone lives in Minnapolis's 612 area code. Red tape- the true American Way!

I just have to laugh.

Given the type of cancer I had- the doctors have to do a very 'personal' exam... and they always apologize for it. Why is that? Um- that's why I'm here... so you can check me out and be sure I'm OK. Interestingly enough I was also apologized to for needle sticks, late doctors, and the fact that 2 out of 3 CT scan machines were down.... such polite people today :).

Just looking back.

Nearly 5 years to the day ago I had my cancer surgery... and tomorrow I get checked for what I hope is the last time...ever for this. Despite all the anxiety- I have a unbelievably supportive wife...thank you Busy, and your prayers have meant so very much. One odd observation... my surgery was at 6:45AM... tomorrow's appointment is at 7:45am- why so early?!?

Must be me...

The speedometer on Busy's car has been stuck on 20MPH (32KPH if it matters ;) ) for weeks. Today, for whatever reason it decided to work for me the whole way to work. Ironically- Phoenix rush hour did not allow speeds much above 30MPH (48KPH)...but at least I know that for sure! Hey...KPH made me feel better...seems real fast!

Why?

Why would the protective plastic cap on my deodorant say "Embrace Challenge"? Are we so depressed as a country that a product that is supposed to keep us smelling good has to try to inspire us too? Hmmm.

Something to think about.

M: "Hey, dad guess what?? I can bend my head down by only moving my neck"

Of course- he then further demonstrated his flexibility by sitting Criss-Cross-Applesauce on the floor, bending forward and touching his nose to the floor. He's too cute.

Silly law enforcement officers...

Ok... I've been stopped dozens of times in my life. I have been given exactly 3 tickets: 1 speeding, 1 coasting stop, and 1 for a burned out headlight. I'll preface this by saying I delivered papers overnight in a small town (suburbs really of where Hobbit Sister lives), and the cops were bored. Like when I got a new car and the temporary license in the window. I was stopped every night for a week by the same officer- to see if it had expired yet...uh- not yet. Or the time I was followed for 6 miles (Busy was with me that time) I delivered 10 papers in that time, plus dropped some off at a business. Then, when I was stopped, the officer asked what I was doing. Hmm- delivering papers (not to mention he had checked the back seat where 300 papers were stacked. Or the officer that watched me toss papers up to a school- stopped me and asked if I just threw out a bag of trash. No- delivering papers like the LAST time you asked me. Once I was driving Busy's brother's car (HRH's Mom's Husband...confused yet?!?). The officer stopped me and the first thing he said was "Your not B!" He didn't even tell me why he stopped me...just let me go. There was also the time our Ford Tempo aka the biggest pile of junk that ever lived, blew up. Every light went out- and the breaks totally failed. It was 2 am- we were almost home- so I drove VERY slowly home to change cars. Of course we got stopped, and I couldn't stop. We rolled for a block, till I finally bumped a curb... Officer laughed at me because he though I was a drunk- then escorted me home. Ah yes... my criminal past.

I love these moments.

M wanted to make breakfast this morning- so Busy told him he could make waffles in the toaster. He is big enough to do that- and it wasn't the first time. About 15 minutes later M comes back in our room. I asked him if the waffles were ready- and he said, not yet and he was really hungry!! As a side- I strongly discourage the use of the word starving- as there are people who really are starving, of which we are not. Anyway... I went to investigate. The toaster was set to 1...oops, and the waffles were popped up- he just couldn't see them. I wonder how long he would have waited? Gotta love it when Super M still has a 6 year old moment. :)

Today's encounter with Arizona DPS

Today, as I was driving M to his home-school program (with Busy and Z in the car) I noticed a Highway Patrol behind me. He followed us from 1 freeway, to the next- then waited an exit to turn on his lights. I was really a little confused- but I pulled over (scary on a Phoenix freeway during rush hour). The officer approached- and said I had blown past him at 75MPH at Country Club- and it had taken him this long to catch up (not my speed, but traffic caused his delay). He then mentioned he saw that motorcycle driver cut me off back there. So- after the obligatory license and registration check- he gave me a warning and let me go. Several things were funny- first you'll see how far that was on the map. Second- why didn't he pull the crazy motorcycle over that was going between cars and cutting people off?? Who knows- but he was very polite, and did not give me the ticket I deserved. Also...ever wonder why they ask you where you are headed? Uh- I was going to drop off the illegal immigrants in the trunk before going back to my secret drug lab...or not ;)

Why 4AM is too early to get up.

First- there is not sun...even in the Great American Southwest. Second- children's toys- such as dinosaurs...ouch. Third- your brain isn't in gear just yet. For example- I just opened my lunch bag to realize I packed: Yogurt, Oatmeal...so far so good.. and for lunch- a 16oz can of pineapple.

Silly, pointless, but very funny TV shows.

It may come from being alive, and the right age, to watch the first Simpsons cartoon ever. It may be that I'm just a little weird- the jury is still out on that one. For some reason, though, these crazy, often wildly inappropriate, shows make me laugh. The Simpsons, Family Guy, And *gulp* sometimes South Park. But, lest you think I'm totally weird- I do like 'normal' comedies like Scrubs! I really can't place it, but mostly it's because they will poke fun at anybody or anything.

My parting thought- from Family Guy yesterday:
"Lois- you know you can't spell overreact without ovary!"

*Legal mumbo-jumbo- "The Simpsons" TM and copyright are owned by FOX and its related companies. "Family Guy" is a registered trademark of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. Image illustrated by Paul ter Voorde
**The views expressed by animated characters in the blog may not reflect those of the blog owner or management.